that's all this town has. two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.
sup, dudes. this is the culligan man here to tell you "mothers, lock up your SONS!"
no joke, this is how people actually speak here. i often wondered why my parent's chose to settle here in the saddest little town in texas; my dad always said it was because when they left new york, he strapped a snow shovel to the front of his car and drove south until somebody finally asked "what's that?" and he said, "we're staying!" all kidding aside though, i think that maybe they're in the witness protection program and were just put here. or if the story he tells is true, the person who asked "what's that" was (not so different from the typical harlingen resident) "special".
so to make my time here bareable ive taken on a few new hobbies - renting movies/going to movies/never leaving the theater. we have the crappiest little theater here too, 16 screens of nothing special. but i figure being out there really emersed in the culture of cinema will help me to cope. i guess. oh! and i also joined a gym.
i mean, woah. that's not like me at all. i don't really like going to the gym because i find it boring and i have a motivational problem. plus all the guys i know who went to the gym used to call me fag. it was hurtful and unbelievably prophetic so i usually tended to steer clear of these types of boring unmotivating establishments full of pumped up ms. cleos. but there really isn't anything to do here except to wait to see if my job prospects start shining down upon me. i started a blog about it, and you can read all about it at http://gymbunny.blogspot.com (cause im too lazy to post the link.) if im going to have the ultimate in real life meets situation comedy, i might as well share it with all of you. but also because i think that the gym is really really boring, im not going to talk about it at all. especially if i start to get really into it and lose all semblence of a personality outside of my favorite mistakes.
i promise you my lovelies, that i will always stay the same in here. peace out homeskillet! (the quaint coloquialism i heard shouted outside of the theater today. i think it means "goodbye" or "i left the stove on". who can really tell with these people)
no joke, this is how people actually speak here. i often wondered why my parent's chose to settle here in the saddest little town in texas; my dad always said it was because when they left new york, he strapped a snow shovel to the front of his car and drove south until somebody finally asked "what's that?" and he said, "we're staying!" all kidding aside though, i think that maybe they're in the witness protection program and were just put here. or if the story he tells is true, the person who asked "what's that" was (not so different from the typical harlingen resident) "special".
so to make my time here bareable ive taken on a few new hobbies - renting movies/going to movies/never leaving the theater. we have the crappiest little theater here too, 16 screens of nothing special. but i figure being out there really emersed in the culture of cinema will help me to cope. i guess. oh! and i also joined a gym.
i mean, woah. that's not like me at all. i don't really like going to the gym because i find it boring and i have a motivational problem. plus all the guys i know who went to the gym used to call me fag. it was hurtful and unbelievably prophetic so i usually tended to steer clear of these types of boring unmotivating establishments full of pumped up ms. cleos. but there really isn't anything to do here except to wait to see if my job prospects start shining down upon me. i started a blog about it, and you can read all about it at http://gymbunny.blogspot.com (cause im too lazy to post the link.) if im going to have the ultimate in real life meets situation comedy, i might as well share it with all of you. but also because i think that the gym is really really boring, im not going to talk about it at all. especially if i start to get really into it and lose all semblence of a personality outside of my favorite mistakes.
i promise you my lovelies, that i will always stay the same in here. peace out homeskillet! (the quaint coloquialism i heard shouted outside of the theater today. i think it means "goodbye" or "i left the stove on". who can really tell with these people)
posted by culligan at 1:29 AM
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