ready to run

i promised myself i wasn't going to start this year off on the wrong foot. but unfortunately i live in harlingen, tx now. and that's all this towns got. two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.

i have decided that if im going to be away from all things interesting, then i might as well bring home some serious cash money. and in harlingen, there's just one industry that a fresh outta college guy like me can do that in. substitute teaching. can i get a HELL YEAH! no? maybe a SOUNDS MILDLY INTERESTING!? anybody? um.. anyone?
well that was of course before i went in for my mandatory sexual harassment (prounounced repeatedly by the decidedly non british instructor as "heressment") and found out that if i child really wants to fuck me over, all they gotta do is tell them i did just that to them. and basically im going to jail. there is very little legal recourse for me unless i have like, upteen billion witnesses that say no, that child is a rat bastard. and a liar. oy.

but putting my discouragement aside, i went and had a meeting with the hr manager of the local banana republic (which, after careful examination of how that dog and pony show is run is an ironically appropriate name.) where i was asked to fill out an application and maybe they might be able to hire me. maybe. if they have the time. i mean, yikes. its the banana republic. that's gay church. and i was almost all but denied.

but wait!! it gets soo much better. i decided that i would call the cellist - who by the way did not call me after i left austin for like, four days - and he said that he was watching the new season of queer as folk with his friend kyle who we here at my favorite mistakes refer to (and have done so long before we knew the cellist) as "the whore-a" because my friends, that is precisely what he is. and oh yeah, he's the cellist's ex-boyfriend.

i mean. wow. this day is completely crappy. and i am actually pretty stuck here for a while. and i need a drink. a big one.