i guess the lord must be in new york city
i realize it has been more than a month since i last posted. its unacceptable. criminal even. apologies.
in the time ive been gone, i have jet-setted about this great nation as it were to and from the big apple. where, starting tomorrow morning at 11:00am i will henceforth be known as a permanent resident and member of the working class. i have landed myself a job mostly by convincing anyone and everyone that will listen that i am worth much much more than i am actually worth. professionally that is.
regardless, i am gainfully employed and at an agency that i will very soon come to completely adore or detest with every fiber of my being. here's hoping for the former in my career crapshoot.
seeing as how i am about to embark on a new adventure, chapter in my life, milestone, blabbity blah blah blah ive been thinking lately about what ive done with my life thusfar. where i come from, where ive been, etc. and despite what i might have written here, i really am proud to come from a small little town (increasingly depressing as it is quickly becoming) and im generally pretty happy with who ive turned out to be - minor tweaks aside.
what i am not proud to be however, is a wal-mart customer. reminiscing and oh-pining will get you only so far until you come face to face to 2x4 to the face with reality. packing up the last of my belongings, i found i was short one dop kit. so i climbed into my little car for what might very possibly be the last late-night errand we will ever run together (*tear) and drove down to my local wal-mart. but not just any wal-mart. a SUPER wal-mart. (what could possibly qualify this or any other wal-mart for that matter, as "super" i will certainly never know.)
while there, i very quickly and easily located the dop kit amidst the other luggage. go shelvers! and then, whilst browsing for a duvet cover (HA! im not even going to begin to discuss how futile that turned out to be. but i will leave you with this - they sell 120 thread count sheets. until recently i was woefully undereducated when it comes to linens, but let me assure you folks - 120 thread count is practically medical gauze masquerading as bedding.) i decided that i should probably try and buy a book so that i can occupy my time during my large layover so i don't spend it secretly resenting everyone in the airport who has a non-stolen ipod attatched to their ears. bastards. but i digress.
so i made my way over to the "book" department which for a small-town wal-mart is quite large. and i browsed. and i browsed. and i browsed. and then my mild frustration at not being able to find a suitable book to occupy my time began to very quickly ebb its way to full on anger that i couldn't find one decent book, not even a literary classic that i haven't read yet, a collection of poems by emily dickenson for example, or perhaps even a little franny and zoe. nada. the only thing i could find were multiple copies of the holy bible, self-help guides and spiritual tools and their equivalents in spanish.
as i continued to frantically search what must have been an entire aisle dedicated to the newest page-turner fresh off the conservative presses: "faith pleases god" or "fe agrada a dios" i started to realize what it felt like to be completely shut out from something. this wal-mart was not for me. aside from their dop kit, they had almost systematically it seemed merchandised their store to shout "repent sodomite! and save 20% on crappy homewares!" that might seem a bit harsh, but they seriously didn't even carry magazines that might appeal to anyone even remotely liberal. i mean, an inspirational guide to life as seen through the eyes of a deer hunter (im not even going to start on the MANY things that this ONE title did to cause my blood pressure (which i was able to measure at the free little booth and is very normal despite my near-embolism-like episode mentioned here, thank you very much.) through the roof) but nary a newsweek. or even a vanity fair. nada. only god, crafts, and chicks on cars.
even now, an hour later, i am still so worked up about this wal-mart's, and this town's for that matter, complete and utter disregard for anyone who might not completely share its view that their is but one way to clean and healthy living, and let me give you a hint, it don't contain no mention of adam and steve or butt sex.
(not that that's even what im even close to being ABOUT, but still no one around these parts is going to believe otherwise.)
all i have to say if FUCK YOU wal-mart for being so self-righteous. im so glad that they don't have wal-marts in the big city. only k-marts. where even a convicted felon can get a second chance at life selling moderately priced tupperware and sensible (read stylish AND luxurious) bed linens. yay k-mart. yay nyc. yay new beginnings.
and as i refuse to end this rant on a bad note, or with feeling sorry for myself as per my lenten promise - i would just like to add that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. new town, new job, new life. and its going to be amazing.
::culligan stops, twirls, and throws beret into the air a la mary tyler moore::
im going to make it after all.
in the time ive been gone, i have jet-setted about this great nation as it were to and from the big apple. where, starting tomorrow morning at 11:00am i will henceforth be known as a permanent resident and member of the working class. i have landed myself a job mostly by convincing anyone and everyone that will listen that i am worth much much more than i am actually worth. professionally that is.
regardless, i am gainfully employed and at an agency that i will very soon come to completely adore or detest with every fiber of my being. here's hoping for the former in my career crapshoot.
seeing as how i am about to embark on a new adventure, chapter in my life, milestone, blabbity blah blah blah ive been thinking lately about what ive done with my life thusfar. where i come from, where ive been, etc. and despite what i might have written here, i really am proud to come from a small little town (increasingly depressing as it is quickly becoming) and im generally pretty happy with who ive turned out to be - minor tweaks aside.
what i am not proud to be however, is a wal-mart customer. reminiscing and oh-pining will get you only so far until you come face to face to 2x4 to the face with reality. packing up the last of my belongings, i found i was short one dop kit. so i climbed into my little car for what might very possibly be the last late-night errand we will ever run together (*tear) and drove down to my local wal-mart. but not just any wal-mart. a SUPER wal-mart. (what could possibly qualify this or any other wal-mart for that matter, as "super" i will certainly never know.)
while there, i very quickly and easily located the dop kit amidst the other luggage. go shelvers! and then, whilst browsing for a duvet cover (HA! im not even going to begin to discuss how futile that turned out to be. but i will leave you with this - they sell 120 thread count sheets. until recently i was woefully undereducated when it comes to linens, but let me assure you folks - 120 thread count is practically medical gauze masquerading as bedding.) i decided that i should probably try and buy a book so that i can occupy my time during my large layover so i don't spend it secretly resenting everyone in the airport who has a non-stolen ipod attatched to their ears. bastards. but i digress.
so i made my way over to the "book" department which for a small-town wal-mart is quite large. and i browsed. and i browsed. and i browsed. and then my mild frustration at not being able to find a suitable book to occupy my time began to very quickly ebb its way to full on anger that i couldn't find one decent book, not even a literary classic that i haven't read yet, a collection of poems by emily dickenson for example, or perhaps even a little franny and zoe. nada. the only thing i could find were multiple copies of the holy bible, self-help guides and spiritual tools and their equivalents in spanish.
as i continued to frantically search what must have been an entire aisle dedicated to the newest page-turner fresh off the conservative presses: "faith pleases god" or "fe agrada a dios" i started to realize what it felt like to be completely shut out from something. this wal-mart was not for me. aside from their dop kit, they had almost systematically it seemed merchandised their store to shout "repent sodomite! and save 20% on crappy homewares!" that might seem a bit harsh, but they seriously didn't even carry magazines that might appeal to anyone even remotely liberal. i mean, an inspirational guide to life as seen through the eyes of a deer hunter (im not even going to start on the MANY things that this ONE title did to cause my blood pressure (which i was able to measure at the free little booth and is very normal despite my near-embolism-like episode mentioned here, thank you very much.) through the roof) but nary a newsweek. or even a vanity fair. nada. only god, crafts, and chicks on cars.
even now, an hour later, i am still so worked up about this wal-mart's, and this town's for that matter, complete and utter disregard for anyone who might not completely share its view that their is but one way to clean and healthy living, and let me give you a hint, it don't contain no mention of adam and steve or butt sex.
(not that that's even what im even close to being ABOUT, but still no one around these parts is going to believe otherwise.)
all i have to say if FUCK YOU wal-mart for being so self-righteous. im so glad that they don't have wal-marts in the big city. only k-marts. where even a convicted felon can get a second chance at life selling moderately priced tupperware and sensible (read stylish AND luxurious) bed linens. yay k-mart. yay nyc. yay new beginnings.
and as i refuse to end this rant on a bad note, or with feeling sorry for myself as per my lenten promise - i would just like to add that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. new town, new job, new life. and its going to be amazing.
::culligan stops, twirls, and throws beret into the air a la mary tyler moore::
im going to make it after all.
posted by culligan at 1:00 AM
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